Ordering Noodles

My struggles for Vietnamese language are in the 6th year now. I get by in the language. It certainly didn't start out that way.

Sometimes it's nice to ponder those terrible moments where everything went wrong. Some of those memories have been coming to mind lately and I'll be recounting them in the next few posts:

Afternoon noodles
There's a place near the stadium in Huế that serves cơm tấm (rice with pork) in true southern style, something I was missing having spent a year in the heart of the Mekong Delta prior to leading a group of short-term volunteers for a summer in the ancient capitol.

I invited the volunteers to join me for lunch there and as we sat down one of them noted that one of their students had brought them here for noodles one afternoon. I had never seen anyone eating noodles there but who was I to argue.  Having a leg-up on the language I took responsibility for the orders that day.  The volunteer who had noodles previously wanted to know if she could get them again.

"Ok," I spoke with false authority (I still got really nervous speaking Vietnamese in front of others at this point), "we'll have 4 dishes of rice, 5 iced teas and do you have noodles?"

"We've just got ____ ____ noodles."

"Oh..." I stalled, not knowing what those noodles were but assuming the volunteer wouldn't mind, I mean how many noodle types could they have? "Ok, a bowl of those noodles then."

A smile broadened into a full, bellowing laugh as the order taker turned around, addressing seemingly all the patrons of the place and shouted, "this guy wants ___ ____ noodles!"

Something had gone terribly wrong.

"I think they don't have the noodles. Is rice ok?" I asked the volunteer eager to disappear underneath the already squat plastic table.  I'd have to dig a whole in the cement to get under there properly.

After a few minutes of pondering and rewinding the conversation in my head I had figured it out.  Of course, there was the problem! The Huế accent (I was only 2 weeks in to hearing it) and my own nervousness had flubbed it all. I completely understood what he had said on the second review. I imagined how it must have sounded from the order taker's perspective and I couldn't help cracking a smile too.

The conversation rewound itself again and I put on my UN council approved headphones for a second listen with the translator.

The order taker approached the foreigner expecting his order

"Give 4 plates of rice, 5 iced teas, do you have noodles?"

"We only have noodles buổi chiều."

"Ok...noodles buổi chiều. Give me one bowl of noodles buổi chiều."

And so for the foreigner who wanted noodles buổi chiều received an announcement on his behalf instead, "this foreigner over here wants a bowl of afternoon (buổi chiều) noodles!"

Noodles are only available after 4pm. Of course that was worth laughing about.